In all honesty
No holding back
Revealing, slowly
This collection of nerves and ideas
Cruisin' through this time and place in space
Landing on lily pads and silly fads
and a noble face
amongst all other beings bein' themselves
there was this person
here, now
I see you
Friday, October 6, 2017
There is Hope Again
Good giddy god
When you talk I forget about
forgetting
There is hope again
For me
and for this world
that it has breathed you into being
When you talk I forget about
forgetting
There is hope again
For me
and for this world
that it has breathed you into being
Moment at Home
not then
not even now
forever, nah
standing by the door
thinking
finally connected to my own
body, for now, not even
the narrative has been whittled to its frame
and all the better for it
and when it's time to burn it down,
let it go quickly
not even now
forever, nah
standing by the door
thinking
finally connected to my own
body, for now, not even
the narrative has been whittled to its frame
and all the better for it
and when it's time to burn it down,
let it go quickly
Afternoon Morning
the cedars full of berries
the blue-gray greens bookending the bent street
I wish you could see
the inklings of different futures
visceral, exhausting
the first hours of the day
reconnecting, overwhelmed
learning through a new set of eyes
it's too much
one sense at a time, please
and finally the words come
when they have nowhere else to go
the blue-gray greens bookending the bent street
I wish you could see
the inklings of different futures
visceral, exhausting
the first hours of the day
reconnecting, overwhelmed
learning through a new set of eyes
it's too much
one sense at a time, please
and finally the words come
when they have nowhere else to go
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Prayer of Submission
Resistance is energy wasted
Willful time spent in prison
If only the bars were always visible
This is still going on
You, me
We are alive
and briefly so
We ask, then
to love our limitations
to lose the desire for control
and instead
to graciously
submit to the natural course of events
as they unfold with or without our permission
We tell ourselves we are making choices
that have been made for us long ago
and we must let time speak through us
or mute ourselves in hopes of changing what?
These feelings of anger, jealousy, resentment
They seem real
and the moments grip us tightly
I pray for the perspective
that allows me to submit
submit
submit
there is no other way
there is no real power to hold
true strength is knowing
that I do not have control
and need not seek it
for such pursuits will turn me on my head
and laugh at me harder each time I try
Willful time spent in prison
If only the bars were always visible
This is still going on
You, me
We are alive
and briefly so
We ask, then
to love our limitations
to lose the desire for control
and instead
to graciously
submit to the natural course of events
as they unfold with or without our permission
We tell ourselves we are making choices
that have been made for us long ago
and we must let time speak through us
or mute ourselves in hopes of changing what?
These feelings of anger, jealousy, resentment
They seem real
and the moments grip us tightly
I pray for the perspective
that allows me to submit
submit
submit
there is no other way
there is no real power to hold
true strength is knowing
that I do not have control
and need not seek it
for such pursuits will turn me on my head
and laugh at me harder each time I try
Sunday, October 2, 2016
In Others' Hearts
The once-vivid straws are now distant,
as the dark T.V. snow takes them to the edge of my reach.
There, they are boiled to an essence,
where I see them for what they were.
I analyze and agonize their passing into the subconscious.
They were loved, celebrated, and forgotten,
like we were in others' hearts.
as the dark T.V. snow takes them to the edge of my reach.
There, they are boiled to an essence,
where I see them for what they were.
I analyze and agonize their passing into the subconscious.
They were loved, celebrated, and forgotten,
like we were in others' hearts.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Design and Engineering
I stopped eating animal products a year ago*. Big deal.
I'm not telling you what to do.
Ultimately, in the most ultimate, final sense, I don't care.
Sun consumes the earth. Everything bathes in fire. Great. Got it. Nothing matters. Whatever.
But,
my life is happening now
and although I don't subscribe to the word "god", because it is manmade,
I do respect the universe as a creative force.
From a design and engineering standpoint,
from the microscopic to the vast ends of time,
in every drop of blood
that oozes life al all kinds
(yeah, sure I still kill flies and *I'll eat oysters and occasional fish.)
out of awe and fear,
I tip my cap to you, Sun and moon,
stars, all that stuff.
For I, too, am your creation,
and I hold sincere, intermittent gratitude
for all that you have given to me, to us
and I will give my selected efforts
to a futile struggle of
wonder and beauty.
I'm not telling you what to do.
Ultimately, in the most ultimate, final sense, I don't care.
Sun consumes the earth. Everything bathes in fire. Great. Got it. Nothing matters. Whatever.
But,
my life is happening now
and although I don't subscribe to the word "god", because it is manmade,
I do respect the universe as a creative force.
From a design and engineering standpoint,
from the microscopic to the vast ends of time,
in every drop of blood
that oozes life al all kinds
(yeah, sure I still kill flies and *I'll eat oysters and occasional fish.)
out of awe and fear,
I tip my cap to you, Sun and moon,
stars, all that stuff.
For I, too, am your creation,
and I hold sincere, intermittent gratitude
for all that you have given to me, to us
and I will give my selected efforts
to a futile struggle of
wonder and beauty.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
We should find a way
We should find a way
to test whether or not the animals we eat were "good ones".
You know, the way there are just some good or bad people.
Sure, it's a spectrum,
But there are people who are fundamentally rotten to the core.
You know,
the ones you look into and see pure evil,
regardless of whether or not they can make their grandmas laugh.
The ones who want to eat your soul...
They cut in line and cut you off in traffic...
and buy a bunch of unhealthy groceries.
If only we could find a way to test the animals to see whether or not they are that way.
And then kill only them. And only those people too,
and grind them up and eat them all together in a stew!
to test whether or not the animals we eat were "good ones".
You know, the way there are just some good or bad people.
Sure, it's a spectrum,
But there are people who are fundamentally rotten to the core.
You know,
the ones you look into and see pure evil,
regardless of whether or not they can make their grandmas laugh.
The ones who want to eat your soul...
They cut in line and cut you off in traffic...
and buy a bunch of unhealthy groceries.
If only we could find a way to test the animals to see whether or not they are that way.
And then kill only them. And only those people too,
and grind them up and eat them all together in a stew!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Body Odor
Today at work the boss tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to help him with something. I followed him into the back room and closed the door.
He is a very nice man.
"You're doing a great job out there, but I need to talk to you about hygiene. Particularly, body odor."
I asked if he was serious.
"Yeah, I'm serious."
Then he asked if I was showering and washing my clothes. I explained to him that I shower regularly, but I wasn't in the habit of wearing deodorant because the wife and I are kind of hippies. I also admitted that I only washed my work shirts a couple of times since I started there two months ago.
I assured him that it wouldn't be a problem again and told him I would purchase some deodorant.
He is a very nice man.
"You're doing a great job out there, but I need to talk to you about hygiene. Particularly, body odor."
I asked if he was serious.
"Yeah, I'm serious."
Then he asked if I was showering and washing my clothes. I explained to him that I shower regularly, but I wasn't in the habit of wearing deodorant because the wife and I are kind of hippies. I also admitted that I only washed my work shirts a couple of times since I started there two months ago.
I assured him that it wouldn't be a problem again and told him I would purchase some deodorant.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
A Vision of the Future
Augmented reality
Genetic history will know every possible effect of all behaviour/food intake
Cancer %, etc.
The computer will give us the best alternative action, menu option
The choices give us the illusion of control over our reality
But
It will think for us
Because we designed it
To help us get out of death
Augmented reality
Genetic history will know every possible effect of all behaviour/food intake
Cancer %, etc.
The computer will give us the best alternative action, menu option
The choices give us the illusion of control over our reality
But
It will think for us
Because we designed it
To help us get out of death
Sunday, May 19, 2013
If Anything
Social animals-
Sometimes it
Takes a minute
To restore that faith
I was never sure I had-
That the majority of people are created equal,
That there's something connecting me to everyone,
That it's worth the effort to contribute
And there's that person, likely a male,
Confirming the racist, classist stereotype I
Wish I never knew-
The bully on the playground who can't read,
Except he's grown up, dumber than ever,
Souring the whole mix,
Testing my optimism.
I'm on an early flight here-
All the sleepy fat red faces I
Passed to get to my seat have
Stuck with me.
Oh, sure,
First world luxury affords condescension,
But if anything will
connect me with the whole sick world,
It's the capacity to judge.
Sometimes it
Takes a minute
To restore that faith
I was never sure I had-
That the majority of people are created equal,
That there's something connecting me to everyone,
That it's worth the effort to contribute
And there's that person, likely a male,
Confirming the racist, classist stereotype I
Wish I never knew-
The bully on the playground who can't read,
Except he's grown up, dumber than ever,
Souring the whole mix,
Testing my optimism.
I'm on an early flight here-
All the sleepy fat red faces I
Passed to get to my seat have
Stuck with me.
Oh, sure,
First world luxury affords condescension,
But if anything will
connect me with the whole sick world,
It's the capacity to judge.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
finish the sentence
I learned a new trick:
Start a sentence
and then
start a new sentence midway though it,
the intention being to wander off on a worthy tangent
and not come back around
Lion King!
Disney, corporate America
what's that about?
then proceed to finish the sentence.
Start a sentence
and then
start a new sentence midway though it,
the intention being to wander off on a worthy tangent
and not come back around
Lion King!
Disney, corporate America
what's that about?
then proceed to finish the sentence.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
train station
Hi
at the
"can I have two dollars and thirty six cents for the train?"
"no."
another woman 50 feet away sobbing tunefully
feet and revolving doors shuffling, moving in time
A snapshot with nothing
To remember it
But this page in a book that no one has read yet
15 or 20 minutes later, 8:05 PM central standard time 2013 the year of our lord,
a fat woman with short gray straight patchy hair waddled and burped.
Train Station
at the
"can I have two dollars and thirty six cents for the train?"
"no."
another woman 50 feet away sobbing tunefully
feet and revolving doors shuffling, moving in time
A snapshot with nothing
To remember it
But this page in a book that no one has read yet
15 or 20 minutes later, 8:05 PM central standard time 2013 the year of our lord,
a fat woman with short gray straight patchy hair waddled and burped.
Train Station
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Can I?
So you’re telling me
That my body is a network of
Ecosystems and connective tissue
Powered by my brain,
Which is a blob in my skull,
Evolved over however many years
Through adaptation;
Thought itself being an adaptation,
Knowledge a snowballing mass of energy
Perpetuated by a conscious desire to enhance itself.
Ok. Can I put stuff in my mouth now?
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Suggested topic: Best Friends in Love
Friends first, lovers second
It’s the best
Knowing you’ve
Already
Farted in front of her
Suggested topic: Netflix
NETTTT FLIXXXX
MOO VEE
net fix
Cheaper zan cable
Render one able
Watch what zay want
When connection is stable
TEE VEE SEE REES
HEE HEE, TEARY eyes
OWN LEE
S’EH VEHN NEIN TEEEEE
NIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNE
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Suggested topic: Amethysts
Purple mountain magic cyst
Save my soul from drunkenness
Get me stoned instead, old gem
Help my head remember when
The universe was nothing but
A twinkle in an eye wide shut
Unravel time
on cheap quartz watches...
Casio
So fast it goes
As radios
Tune into those
Old timeless tunes
From many moons and Junes ago
Oh Amethyst, keep track of this
When I’m so gone
And you exist
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
a poem for you, blogger
(read aloud)
It’s your face I miss the most
dizzy days, fuzzy woes
Eiffel tear obit ‘tro host
it’s a ways a getting there
sedentary as a ghost
Focus pal,
let’s have a toast
to ourselves and what we knowst
Not what we do
for,
there it goes on
carrot toes
go rabbit, post
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Public Observances # 2
Guy on a cell phone at the airport calmly asks his conversant,
"are you masturbating?"
"are you masturbating?"
On Convenience
Really glad I took that free pen from the motel desk,
otherwise I would have to buy one here at the airport,
and you know how they mark it up on convenience.
Speaking of,
there's a bar here,
but somehow that seems worth the expense.
otherwise I would have to buy one here at the airport,
and you know how they mark it up on convenience.
Speaking of,
there's a bar here,
but somehow that seems worth the expense.
Friday, October 28, 2011
My God
There are innumerable channels of, for lack of a better/perfect word, beauty here.
It should not be taken for granted or, worse, ignored.
To blink, to allow distraction, is an unintentional sacrifice.
To become jealous
is to succumb to the blindness of anger, again
limiting the scope of
intended
experience.
In addition,
the truest appreciation
requires complete, eager reconciliation with
the fact that practically none of it
comes from within.
Friday, October 7, 2011
X
The past
is a thick fog
creeping mostly on weird days
(not so much weather-wise).
*waking in a mellow state
*longing for old good times and greenest
grass, but
as the day moves,
a modern clarity invades the old buildings,
looting yet mourning all that was taken for
granted.
is a thick fog
creeping mostly on weird days
(not so much weather-wise).
*waking in a mellow state
*longing for old good times and greenest
grass, but
as the day moves,
a modern clarity invades the old buildings,
looting yet mourning all that was taken for
granted.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Public Obvservances #1
One-sided stairwell phone conversation:
"Well, just for your information, I am faithful."
"What are you saying? I'm taking all your money?"
"You use that against me, and that's all right."
"Well, just for your information, I am faithful."
"What are you saying? I'm taking all your money?"
"You use that against me, and that's all right."
The Holidays
The time of year
for self-relfection:
assessment on a sliding scale,
sliding into a neutral abyss
where nothing matters,
not even memories,
not even the real ones,
the non-exaggerated joys and
accurate orgasms, the way they happened.
for self-relfection:
assessment on a sliding scale,
sliding into a neutral abyss
where nothing matters,
not even memories,
not even the real ones,
the non-exaggerated joys and
accurate orgasms, the way they happened.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Random Pretty Women
Can’t stop burning a hole
In her burden of a face,
My sunglasses shrouding honesty
worth several dollars in change
Aggressive men proposition her frequently
like summer flies
She’s quite a horse, shaking them off
while others groom her
Her boobies enslave and feed nations
I mean,
I want to squeeze and suck
It’s been about 20 minutes and she’s still winning
The echelons are coming into focus
But I’ve already given her up,
thankful for saved minutes of boring or pretty good conversation.
…it’s 3 hours later and I can’t remember what she looks like.
In her burden of a face,
My sunglasses shrouding honesty
worth several dollars in change
Aggressive men proposition her frequently
like summer flies
She’s quite a horse, shaking them off
while others groom her
Her boobies enslave and feed nations
I mean,
I want to squeeze and suck
It’s been about 20 minutes and she’s still winning
The echelons are coming into focus
But I’ve already given her up,
thankful for saved minutes of boring or pretty good conversation.
…it’s 3 hours later and I can’t remember what she looks like.
I Thought I Wanted
To kiss you
To hear the drunken echoes of ideal love
In the moments when things matter the least
To consider what mattering is, philosophically
Your look is of utmost urgency
It yells in faces
It bleeds through dimensions
And tears at me in the most realistic way
You lie there, asleep
Possibly unaware of what I hoped would happen
Teaching me of my weakness
A longing for something
Direct
Immature
And
Forthright
I’m talking to someone else now
The one lucky enough
To scroll eyes here
It’s just us
Nobody’s judhing youg
*judging you
typo
It’s really
Deep breaths
Going to be fine
Deep breaths
For the longest amount of time you’ll ever know
Then what
Then supposed death
It’s a myth
Things will always be like this
To hear the drunken echoes of ideal love
In the moments when things matter the least
To consider what mattering is, philosophically
Your look is of utmost urgency
It yells in faces
It bleeds through dimensions
And tears at me in the most realistic way
You lie there, asleep
Possibly unaware of what I hoped would happen
Teaching me of my weakness
A longing for something
Direct
Immature
And
Forthright
I’m talking to someone else now
The one lucky enough
To scroll eyes here
It’s just us
Nobody’s judhing youg
*judging you
typo
It’s really
Deep breaths
Going to be fine
Deep breaths
For the longest amount of time you’ll ever know
Then what
Then supposed death
It’s a myth
Things will always be like this
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
On Today's Date
read this upon waking:
all that needs to happen:
you walk through a door
and enter a new world
all that needs to happen:
you walk through a door
and enter a new world
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Voyeur of the Truth
Eventually Jesus will be born again.
Volcanoes will erupt like
giant vaginas.
Words and thoughts will be feasted on by demon warriors,
along with meatloaf and the soup of the day.
Some guy is talking to a woman in a coffee shop,
telling her stories of the end times.
The conviction in his voice is buyable.
His cadences are soothing
as he answers his own questions.
The woman accepts it like a child.
It’s cute.
Volcanoes will erupt like
giant vaginas.
Words and thoughts will be feasted on by demon warriors,
along with meatloaf and the soup of the day.
Some guy is talking to a woman in a coffee shop,
telling her stories of the end times.
The conviction in his voice is buyable.
His cadences are soothing
as he answers his own questions.
The woman accepts it like a child.
It’s cute.
Unconvinced
Feels like the end of it running through my fingers.
Can’t be sure, but for now the stupidity is clear enough in the haze of wonder.
If there were only a way to press out the last few drops-
The crucial ones,
The seeds,
The straggling bed bugs plotting to feed and re-spawn.
Can’t be sure, but for now the stupidity is clear enough in the haze of wonder.
If there were only a way to press out the last few drops-
The crucial ones,
The seeds,
The straggling bed bugs plotting to feed and re-spawn.
With All Humanity
So what now? That’s it?
The anticipation, the lead-up-to insignificant banter…
Why this time is it so hard to wall off?
Rampant fantasies unbalancing years of hard work toward a secure illusion
Drink it in, drink, drink, feel it all the way down
Down the spine
Ingraining itself in long filthy toenails, beds of secrets
Stare straight at it, suck on it
Bite down and shake with all humanity
The anticipation, the lead-up-to insignificant banter…
Why this time is it so hard to wall off?
Rampant fantasies unbalancing years of hard work toward a secure illusion
Drink it in, drink, drink, feel it all the way down
Down the spine
Ingraining itself in long filthy toenails, beds of secrets
Stare straight at it, suck on it
Bite down and shake with all humanity
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Lost Loves and Almosts
Abandoned wishes line the curbs of a burnt out relic city.
The streets can’t be swept, nor should they be,
because a Sunday stroll here is a new kind of inspiration-
a desanctified altar to which bowing is discouraged.
Eastern thought doesn’t help the remaining residents much,
as innate desires are often impossible to squelch.
Instead, they prefer to take mental pictures of the curbs and
file them with lost loves and almosts.
The streets can’t be swept, nor should they be,
because a Sunday stroll here is a new kind of inspiration-
a desanctified altar to which bowing is discouraged.
Eastern thought doesn’t help the remaining residents much,
as innate desires are often impossible to squelch.
Instead, they prefer to take mental pictures of the curbs and
file them with lost loves and almosts.
The immediate discovery left after soul immersion
Tingles branching and fading towards a mute
Instants replayed over forgetful hours
Disremembering
Letting be
Acceptance, lightly pained and panged
Similes aside
It was as good as
Instants replayed over forgetful hours
Disremembering
Letting be
Acceptance, lightly pained and panged
Similes aside
It was as good as
A Siren Warmth
It will not be held
Not by self-assured hands
Or grappling vagrants
It is there as a benchmark
A reason to strive
To be desirable, better in relative terms
It graces fools’ mind’s eyes
Hypnotically, invited
Replacing the attainable
It has a feel, a siren warmth
Of harmless literary evil
And fun coincidences
The best way to encounter it
Is to leave it alone
Or let it win
Not by self-assured hands
Or grappling vagrants
It is there as a benchmark
A reason to strive
To be desirable, better in relative terms
It graces fools’ mind’s eyes
Hypnotically, invited
Replacing the attainable
It has a feel, a siren warmth
Of harmless literary evil
And fun coincidences
The best way to encounter it
Is to leave it alone
Or let it win
Friday, May 7, 2010
What Needs Daylight
So many sounds in the dark,
revealing only what needs daylight-
what won't cut so sharply into memorable foreign flesh-
familiarity that seems necessary to keep warm
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Wed 12:15 AM Text Message to Matt (excerpt)
Sometimes I get excited like a little girl and even though I know it's not real
I give in to the feeling of hope and ride it out just because
it makes my body feel good.
Makes the time easier.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
A lot of advice is based on other people's mistake
- Facing it
- being thankful
- apperciating {sp} existance {sp} & time
- finding withing {sp} yourself moments of joy
- noting them
- keeping a tally (like on a prison wall)
to make better decisions
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Night Revelations
First person
No third person
Actually first person
is how I'd like to say it. It's really about me. How can it not be?
Or is it methodical? Who is the audience? Why does it matter?
Is anybody listening to this 90 year old woman inside of a 26 year old boy?
Yes. God is. What? No he's not.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Life Insurance
When I’m lost,
I mean really {fuckin'} lost...
Unsure about whatever I’m doing or where I’m going or where this is leading in a narrative sense,
and one of those thoughts
peers through the cracks and waves
HELLO!
demanding attention in a friendly but firm demeanor,
words find their way across my eyes
dancing into my belly and lighting up the spinal nerves
like a state fair “test your strength” sledgehammer.
An old song slaps me in the ears and across the face,
calling out in sweet familiar melodies:
“Hurry up! You’re gonna be dead soon anyway.”
My weakness (earlier I justified it) feels wasteful, ungrateful, unwarranted
like a teenage sadness
or a child’s tantrum.
A harsh wind reminds me of the time ripping by,
taking with it
every missed opportunity,
every stinging failure,
every fading memory,
and I choose to look onward
in whatever direction
I can.
I guess
I live in the world, connected to everything in it through little tiny balls of shit Makes sense to me but makes very little difference. It's all names & words + words and words. Stare at the word WORD... No such thing as wasting time... ............................. ........................ .................... ............... ........... ........ ...... ... .. . .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ ......... .......... ........... ............ .............. ............... ................ .................. Of course there is! No, I don't feel like a loser. Reading the end of this makes me uncomfortable. Let's feel good again- the way our bodies were made to witness their full potential if you believe in that sort of thing, which I'm not sure if I do.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
This Way
Thoughts come this way-
in pencil.
Blank rolling hills...
Tumbleweeds...
Colorless thin air...
Friends,
optimism & hope & holding on...
A little chink in the armor starts it all
v
a
l
a
n
c
h
i
n
g to the familiar base,
devoid of all but self-importance.
You're still reading this?
You must have a sense of humor.
I give up
tapped out.
dried up.
scraped clean.
saw too much.
failed too hard.
lost the eager hands.
fell in love with time's inevitable wash,
its neutrality the source of hope for
a last great comfort.
dried up.
scraped clean.
saw too much.
failed too hard.
lost the eager hands.
fell in love with time's inevitable wash,
its neutrality the source of hope for
a last great comfort.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Stoned Observation #1
The firm shaky hold of a sentimental tear
is one more piece of evidence
that suggests if there
is a god, he/she/it
is Truly great
at fuckin
g with
us,
is one more piece of evidence
that suggests if there
is a god, he/she/it
is Truly great
at fuckin
g with
us,
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Think Happy
Think Happy
Think happy
think happY
or
give in and
deflate
into
weary hands
with tired eyes
and let the reasons come pouring
out runny nostrils
or
judge for fun,
exxagerate chronically,
medicate with vice;
get well but not as well and
above all
think happy.
Think happy
think happY
or
give in and
deflate
into
weary hands
with tired eyes
and let the reasons come pouring
out runny nostrils
or
judge for fun,
exxagerate chronically,
medicate with vice;
get well but not as well and
above all
think happy.
Joy
We are all forced
to drink hot
joy cumming from
fresh
goose pimples as
our warm electric blue hearts flash
together in biological prime time and
our feelings squirt everywhere!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
It Shakes You
Like all those nonexistent past lives
carried within you
the memory of an unheard voice
true as all you know and are able to love.
You frequently examine your surroundings for the next few days in a
mild
state
of
shock.
It eases, and you begin to fool yourself again
for as long as you desire-
always too long.
carried within you
the memory of an unheard voice
true as all you know and are able to love.
You frequently examine your surroundings for the next few days in a
mild
state
of
shock.
It eases, and you begin to fool yourself again
for as long as you desire-
always too long.
Another One Gone
Wade into the insecure future:
it's already here
(another second passes).
Decisions and chain reactions are
loosely rippling through the pastttttt.
For now they remain glued together by gray matter,
collectively taking on more weight and releasing older,
lighter emotional fuzz bags.
it's already here
(another second passes).
Decisions and chain reactions are
loosely rippling through the pastttttt.
For now they remain glued together by gray matter,
collectively taking on more weight and releasing older,
lighter emotional fuzz bags.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Old Priest
He had big round knuckles
and slanted white fingers
Ninety five years
of little or no
sex
Devotion to a dogma that
somehow soothed him in his
darkest moments
A life that, to me,
seems entirely hollow
and ironically meaningless
(his god will judge that)
He was a victim of his own certainty:
He put all his eggs in the
cart before the horse
and made a leap into nothingness
a jump of the gun
and a waste of one
and a million billion lives.
I cannot pretend to feel
what he appears to feel so deeply
nor can I determine the worth of his life or beliefs,
for it is the task of time
and death
to erase all beliefs.
I feel lucky
and glad
to not worry as much
about my own.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Linear Time
beginning
moving
expanding
changing
particles shaking
energy transferring
creating
writing its own narrative
pulling its own roots
living in worlds within worlds
mutating
evolving
equalizing
slowing
and
eventually
ending.
moving
expanding
changing
particles shaking
energy transferring
creating
writing its own narrative
pulling its own roots
living in worlds within worlds
mutating
evolving
equalizing
slowing
and
eventually
ending.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Flower Buds
Unfortunately,
the rehashed
resentment
has grown too strong
it has poisoned the
few flower buds
still remaining
the others have already lived
their short
spring and summer lives
some have captured
and held
a true
unique
beauty
for a time
sadly,
they were annuals
the rehashed
resentment
has grown too strong
it has poisoned the
few flower buds
still remaining
the others have already lived
their short
spring and summer lives
some have captured
and held
a true
unique
beauty
for a time
sadly,
they were annuals
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Open Mic Night
Between the scattered claps,
the singing, dancing, joking,
the nervous show and tell jitters,
the audience of wishful thinkers
(some more seriously disillusioned than others)
and friends,
There is a bond of collective resignation
disguised as determination.
So have a drink
on a Monday night
and forget
that
this
might be
it.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
ANGER!
Thief of peace
Weak-minded
Pure self-justification
Bubbles forth, disconnects dots
Woman in line at department of motor vehicles yelling foul language at indifferent cashier
Twelve year old autistic boy throwing tantrum after tantrum-
Cannot be reasoned with
Caveman clubbing cavewoman over head for refusal of sex
sorry-
it just takes over.
Weak-minded
Pure self-justification
Bubbles forth, disconnects dots
Woman in line at department of motor vehicles yelling foul language at indifferent cashier
Twelve year old autistic boy throwing tantrum after tantrum-
Cannot be reasoned with
Caveman clubbing cavewoman over head for refusal of sex
sorry-
it just takes over.
Pizza Delivery to Elderly Woman
and the
inveterate
air-conditioned deathstink,
drawing in its apartment breath,
washes over the years of human love
and unrelativity
saving one the trouble of understanding
as all become one
born of same earth
reaching outward
to return to a simplicity
not to be understood
inveterate
air-conditioned deathstink,
drawing in its apartment breath,
washes over the years of human love
and unrelativity
saving one the trouble of understanding
as all become one
born of same earth
reaching outward
to return to a simplicity
not to be understood
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Subconscious
Dreams allow suppressed, often unwanted desires to live on
in the part of the mind that cradles the spark of an insult
during a strained interaction
with a lower being.
in the part of the mind that cradles the spark of an insult
during a strained interaction
with a lower being.
Depressing Poems
Depressing Poems can be blunt in a way
that may overlook subtle details
even if they don't balance
or nearly balance
the
equation
It's natural, though
to clutch the obvious
to seek provincial shelter
to walk the beaten path
to take comfort in soft placebo answers
to want so badly
for life
to make any
sense
at all
that may overlook subtle details
even if they don't balance
or nearly balance
the
equation
It's natural, though
to clutch the obvious
to seek provincial shelter
to walk the beaten path
to take comfort in soft placebo answers
to want so badly
for life
to make any
sense
at all
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Dull Pain
There exists a dull pain
in the left side
of my
taint
("'taint your balls 'taint your asshole"?, that right?).
I notice it most
when I'm
high and
paranoid.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
The Good Minutes
Nothing makes me happy longer than a minute,
then it's back to normal-
not using enough energy to fully dislike anything.
Some thought sticks in there,
whatever it holds to-
little specks in the dark
wandering...
"Narcissists feel shameful when confronted with a failure.
They feel (narcissistically) injured.
Their omnipotence is threatened,
their sense of perfection and uniqueness is questioned.
They are enraged,
engulfed by self-reprimand,
self-loathing and internalized violent urges." - Dr. Sam Vaknin, PHD (googled it).
Why not admit it?
What does it feel like to care for others?
It's somewhere in the good minutes.
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